Second-hand Books

Ninety-percent of my books are second-hand ones.



Hindi ko inakalang magiging kolektor ako ng mga aklat, higit pa lalo ay mga pambata.



Galing ako sa pamilyang hindi bumibili ng libro. No'ng grade 1 ako, may lalaking nag-aalok ng mga libro ng mga alamat sa klase namin. Lahat kami ay namangha sa makukulay na pabalat. Binigyan pa kami ng order slip na kailangang ibigay kinabukasan. Kaunti lang yata sa amin ang bumili. Karamihan ay nakibasa na lang sa katabing may kopya ng Si Langgam at Tipaklong at Ibong Adarna at iba. Isa ako sa kanila. Wala kasi kaming ekstrang pera para sa libro. Pagkain, renta, pamasahe, baon ang umuubos sa kita ni Tatay.



Noon kasi, mahal ang libro. Noon kasi, hindi pa sikat ang mga tindahan ng second-hand books.

Ngunit nang madiskubre ko ang Booksale Booksale, nag-iba ang pananaw ko sa pagbili ng libro. Hindi pala kailangang maging mapera para mahalin nang lubusan ang pagbabasa. Kaunting barya at mala-higanteng pag-ibig sa pagbasa ang kailangan upang maging bibliophile.



Madami-dami na din akong naipong libro sa bahay at sa silid-aralan. Sa mahigit dalawandaang libro ko, Php 250.00 yata ang pinakamahal at Php 5.00 naman ang pinakasulit.



Hindi ako nahihiyang sabihin na second-hand ang mga libro ko. Pinagyayabang ko pa nga sila lalo na kung bestseller o award-winning ang nabili ko. Idagdag mo pa ang presyo.



Sa mga susunod na araw ay ilalabas ko ang mga larawan (lang at hindi na ang presyo) nila.

Soon-to-be-Unemployed

My contract ends this March 31, 2010.

The feeling of separation (from my students and co-teachers and friends) starts to haunt my jeepney rides, leaving me close to staging a drama because of those wet eyes.



Nagsisimula na rin akong mag-isip kung pa'no ko sasabihin sa mga estudyante ko na hindi na nila ako makikita sa susunod na taon. Labis na lungkot ang nadarama ko sa tuwing ini-ensayo ko sa gunita ang mga pangungusap ng pamamaalam. Maingat dapat. Piling-pili. Dahil sa lumbay na ito, isang kuwento ng pamamaalam ang pumasok sa isip ko. Sana lang ay maisulat ko ito bago pa dumating ang huling araw ng klase.



March 31 marks also the day where I would be part of the millions of Filipinos who are jobless. And I don't want that day to dawn on me. That is why, I am scourging the net for job vacancies which match my skills and interests.  I am looking for a post in an NGO that is big on education and literacy. I have sent e-mails to NGOs I know, but none of them  has responded yet. Hello NBDB, Ayala Foundation, Sa Aklat Sisikat, World Vision? I know I'm not from the College of Social Work and Community Development, but I believe that I have so much help to offer. (Naks! Oozing with confidence).



Haay. I might end up teaching again (which I also love to do). It's just that, I want to try the other fields before I commit my years to the teaching profession. If I would teach again,  I hope that it would be in a "big"school which is also big on taking care of their teachers.



 Habang hindi pa ako p'wedeng lumiban sa klase, panay e-mail na lang muna ang mga job application. Ang problema, ang hirap ding maghanap sa internet, kahit pa maraming job-serach engines. Iba pa rin ang walk-in application. Iba pa rin kung nasa lugar ka mismo ng job fair.



So for now, I will just lift my hands and pray and believe that all these things are working together for a brighter future with the Lord.

Churchless

I consider myself churchless (I don't know if such word exists).

I'm churchless for six months already.

No. I am not an atheist. I know that there's a Divine Being who is the Alpha and Omega of everything. I am no Bertrand Russell who believes that nothing deserves certainty. I am not good at skepticism.



I am proud to be a Christian. His follower. His son. His servant.



Usually (and ideally), Christians are part of a fellowship (  a state of being together; companionship; partnership; association; hence, confederation; joint interest.)*. They do bible studies; attend prayer meetings; praise and worship God through music. They enjoy being hand-in-hand in ministerial works.



For six months, I have been missing a lot as a non-fellowship-ing Christian. I have been a NPC (No Permanent Church) Christian. No. I am not hopping from one church to the other. I ain't no kangaroo. It's just that I couldn't "find" the church where I would grow. The sad thing about it is that I allowed six months to pass on without doing any effort to pray for one. Perhaps, I should start prioritizing this in my prayer concerns' list because it has been taking its toll on me.



I have started feeling spiritually dry. Some of the fruits of the Holy Spirit are no longer evident in my life. I easily give in to temptations and temper calls. My devotionals, songs (in my MP3) and prayers are the only ones which make me believe that I'm still a Christian.



God is just so good that He has not let me lose my faith. That He let me realized these things before it's too late.



Being churchless is no good.







*http://www.dictionary.net/fellowship

In Transit

transitive

whom?

direct

what?

yes

object.



active

doer?

passive

receiver?

voice.



panlunan

pamanahon

pang-abay

kailan?

saan?

ewan.

Break

This blog is on a break.

The blogger is on a break.

He is broken.



Broken spirit.

Tired body.

Shattered dreams.



Twisted mind.

Diced hopes.

Pounded passion.



Soar.

Rise.

Phoenix.