Status Quo

Hiyang-hiya naman ako sa blog na ito na halos siyam na buwan nang nakatengga.

Hustisya!

Lumipas ang mga araw, linggo at buwan na hitik naman ng mga kasulat-sulat na mga pangyayari ngunit hindi man lang ako nag-atubiling itala sa espasyong ito.

Nakalimutan kong isulat ang mga bago sa buhay ko.

Na naglakas-loob akong iwanan ang pagtuturo sa isang pribadong paaralan kung saan sumusobra pa sa sapat ang aking natatanggap buwan-buwan, kung saan de-aircon ang mga classroom, kung saan mababait naman talaga ang mga mag-aaral, kung saan nahubog ang aking 'maayos-ayos' na pagtuturo.

Ang mga huli kong nakasama sa Intermediate Level na pinaglagian ko ng limang taon.

Na napadpad ako sa Dagupan nang halos dalawang buwan (Abril-Mayo) para pag-aralan kung paano maging guro sa pampublikong paaralan. Sa Dagupan ko nakilala ang mga kapwa Pilipinong naniniwala na ang classroom ay ang pandayan ng mga pangarap. Na sa pamamagitan ng pagtuturo ay natutulungan mo ang bansang ito. Sa Dagupan ko naranasang mamuhay sa tabing-dagat.

Mga co-teachers sa aming Dagupan Practicum

Mga co-fellows na napadpad sa Hundred Islands

Na natupad ang hiling at pangako ko sa isang sanaysay ko sa Educ 100 (Intro to Phil. Educational System) na makapagturo sa  pampublikong paaralan. Limang taon ko ring ipinagpaliban ang hamon na ito. At matapos ang taun-taong pagka-unsyami ng planong mag-resign, nagkatotoo na nga. Salamat sa Teach for the Philippines sa pagkakataong maging bahagi ng pagkilos para sa ikabubuti ng bansang ito.

Nakaw na sandali sa Gregorio Del Pilar ES

Na ngayon ay sa Biñan, Laguna ako namamalagi kasama ang limang teacher-fellows mula sa TFP. Na pinasok ng magnanakaw ang bahay namin at tinangay ang apat na gulang kong bag. Na isang traysikel na lang ang layo ng bahay sa paaralang aking pinagtuturuan. Na may kapit-bahay kaming matandang babae na feeling ko ay may crush sa akin (asyumero lang dahil sa kanyang mga nakakapanindig-balahibong titig). Na ang may-ari ng bakeshop na malapit sa amin ay Julie at laging may small talk tuwing bumibili kami sa kaniya.

Ang mga makakasama ko sa two-year fellowship

Na nasanay na ako sa pabagu-bagong teaching loads at nakakapanibagong kultura ng public school. Laking pasalamat ko sa naging pundasyon ko sa mga dati kong paaralan.

Kuha mula sa aming Reading Program class--kuwentong Carancal

Na nagkatotoo na ang mga hinabing pangarap ko noong ako ay nasa high school na makapag-coach para sa school press conference. May bonus pang pagti-train ng speech choir. Pareho namang nanalo ang mga tinuruan ko, sa awa ng Diyos. Na kahit hindi ko pinangarap ay nakapagbahagi na ako nang dalawang beses sa isang training para sa mga kapwa ko guro sa aming paaralan (kahit na nangangatog ang mga joints ko sa kaba).

Ang naging habihan ng aming pangarap saloob ng apat na buwan

Na bukod sa mga kaibigang guro, may mga nakilala akong mga kaibigan mula sa Christ-Commissioned Fellowship sa Sta. Rosa at tuwing Martes ay nakakakuwentuhan ko sila. Na nagamit ko na ulit ang naipon kong mga Ingles nang magturo ako sa Sunday School ng CCF.

Ang mga ka-D-Group ko tuwing Martes

Na sa dinami-rami ng mga pagbabagong ito, hindi ko namamalayan na unti-unti na palang ipinakikita ng Diyos ang kanyang engrandeng plano sa buhay ko.

Tiwala lang daw.

Of Passions and Pursuits

I easily get bored. I won't last a day sloth-ing at home.

So when I'm temporarily tired of reading and studying for my next lessons, encoding exams and checking students' test papers, I turn to reading. I'm currently reading

and

After getting glasses for my deteriorating vision, I have tapered off in my reading escapades. No more reading while in transit--which was a bad bad habit. Nevertheless, I still love reading. I am still a Booksale denizen. Make that disciplined denizen, for I can now control my purchasing powers.No more Oh-I-think-I'm-gonna-needd-this-book-someday-I'm-getting-this-one moments.

I am still a #children's lit and #reading advocate to my pupils--especially in my advisory class which benefits from all the book prizes.

After my quick-stint as a mountaineer, my wanderlust tendency found its place in the world of running. I am a bit proud to have gained the discipline to hit the road at least once each week. I now take pride in getting a darker complexion after hours of being soaked in the sun. (Hello non-beach-bumming tan lines.) 

These running outfits take turns in accompanying me. (Wanted: running buddies from San Jose del Monte, Bulacan) I hope to find a bunch of crazy people who would join me in traversing the city.

During my tamad moments, I go birding. I have a pair of not-so-hi-tech binoculars and carefree spirit that would take me to the greener parts of the city. Every once in a while, I see new species. (We call them lifers in the birding community). 

There are birds other than the maya (eurasian tree sparrow). We have the (left) Asian glossy starling--with its hideous red eyes and (right) the olive-backed sunbird. I've seen these birds this morning while taking a stroll along Kaypian Road. Aside from those two, I;ve got a chance to see egrets, zebra doves, common waterhen, crow, YVB and long-tailed shrikes today.

If you need help in identifying those non-maya birds in your area, read this write-up about the 10 most common bird by Filipina birder Maia (no pun intended).

Teaching, running, reading, birding.

And that's how I kill boredom. How about you?

So What's New?

Tihee! I'm back. But that doesn't mean that my self-imposed writing hiatus is over.

There are just so many things that happened in the past weeks. The bottled up experiences can't be held back anymore. School. Work. Social life. So here you go with the unnecessary updates.

March 

The school year ended with a bang! I just survived the most challenging school year. The managerial (Is that what you call it?) posts really made me go the extra mile as a teacher. I've told my previous level coordinator that being a plain subject teacher/class adviser is what I really dreamt of so I wanted it that way for the rest of my career. (Yeah, I sounded so mediocre.) But with the turn of events, I was promoted as a subject coordinator and the OIC of our level. And that was the beginning of the downfall of my sanity. Haha! Good thing that the other coordinators were there to guide me. Up to now, I am still in disbelief that I am fit for the job. Anyway, I've done my utter best to live up to the expectations of my superiors. And, of course, for the students.

This is so me, except that I won't sit on my books.
(photo courtesy of T.Ruth)

The best part of the school year: Seeing my pupils bloom; moderating a book club; witnessing the graduation of my first advisory class; landing a spot in the dance and speech choir competition; having my own table in the faculty room.

The challenging parts: Scouting movement (It really isn't for me.); Hosting a graduation ceremony; editing speeches; being a good example to your subordinates; dealing with people who are difficult to deal with.

April

The highlight of this month is the soul-nourishing work for All Together In Dignity (ATD) Fourth World Philippines' Festival of Learning. For two consecutive Saturdays, I have lived the dreams I had woven when I was still in UP: to

Volunteering for ATD gave me the illusion(?) that I have given back to the people. That I am not doing UP a disservice. The venues of the activities were so far from where I lived. That was the only challenge I hurdled. Three hours of travel time was no joke, especially on a summer day. But hey, if the prize is seeing the slightest smile of the kids when they hear your tell stories, then, bring it on summer sun.

Day 1- Intimate storytelling along the PNR train tracks.
(photo courtesy of Ms. Tracy Cruz)

Day 2-Performance/ Impromptu storytelling along the road
going to Nagtahan Bridge (photo courtesy of Ms. Tracy Cruz)

One thing that made me want to volunteer again in ATD's next activities is the people behind the group. Kuya Guy is so accommodating. Answering all my directions-related questions when my instincts led me to Paco Church. Ate Anne, Susan and Sana made each volunteer feel at home. I really felt their passion for service. Ms. Tracy is a blessing for the commuter me. Those free rides saved me from getting lost again in Manila. Laine and Janela would agree with me on that.


I may have not gone to the beach this summer. But without second thoughts, I have posted on my FB that: Solb na ang summer ko. Thanks ATD for this new experience! My summer has never been this so productive. Bonus na lang if I get to do this again:

Punta Fuego shore

Happy summer everyone!

Where are Thou First Day Jitters?

Classes started last Thursday,June 16. I'm in my third year of teaching. And I'm still occupying the same room and handling the same advisory class. I love being a Grade 4 adviser. Welcoming tots from the primary level. Grooming them to become better pre-puberty kiddos.

This year is the year of drastic changes.

No more mom to

1.iron our uniforms
2.prepare a cup of coffee to awaken my half-awake senses
3.double-check if the spoon and fork is in my lunch box

every morning. This forces me to leave (and fix) my bed much earlier than usual. If I fail to do that, I'd end up having an empty stomach while racing against the hands of the school's bundy clock. The perils challenges of not having a mom or dad.

The biggest change this school year is the new set of people I'll be working with. There are more new teachers to befriend. That being the case, I've started implementing my OPERATION FC (feeling close). I'd like to think that I have reached my goals after meeting three new friends. And they made it easy for me to integrate in their established group. And now, I've started showing them my true color--

having a high-level of likable meanness

. I hope that with them on my side, all the negative vibes would be turned into laughing stocks.

It's a totally different year for me as an adviser-teacher because I didn't have the usual first-day-of-school jitters unlike in the past two years. I guess, it's a sign that I'm really growing in this profession. To put it bluntly, a sign of aging. It's a sign that I'm no longer like the main character in the book

(Btw, I read this story to my fourth graders on the first day of school.)

The jitters are gone because I am (already)so sure of myself. That teaching is really really for me. Now, I have fully understood the nitty-gritty of the subjects I am teaching (e.g. curriculum, approaches, competencies). Little by little, I am gaining the confidence and the desire to dream of becoming a textbook author or a curriculum developer. True story.

One of the things that really made me confident is the radiant energy that my classroom provides me. Here's a sample.

I'm now excited to do better this year. For God's glory!

Chasing Pavemaths

Should I give up?
Or should I keep on chasing pavemaths?

(Thank you Adele for that very beautiful song,
of course, minus the math part)

For the record,I am not a Math major.
I was trained to be a Reading and Language teacher.
Back in college, I took only two Math subjects
(Math 1 and 2) for my general education subjects
and a "handful" of English subjects.

But that did not made me lose my heart
for Math,
okay, grade school Math.

So when our Math point-person asked for teachers
who'd coach MTAP contestants, I volunteered.
I volunteered to train Grades 3 and 4 pupils,of course.
I so love grade school Math.

After weeks of training,and straining my vocal
and brain chords (if ever the latter exist),
my pupils' scores did not make it to the cut.

Now, I'm starting to doubt my Math powers.
Is it I?Is it they?
Should I give up? Or keep on chasing the direct object?

Should I jump ship now?

10.10.10

When I was a child, I was a numerologist.



I always believed that my class number had a greater effect in my over-all class rank. That my contest number would determine the result of the contest. I would then add, subtract, multiply and divide just to come up with the result I wanted.



I am not just a lover of words, but of numbers too. Have I told you that my first choice in college is not education (a very wrong decision)? It was B.S. Mathematics. And I guess the Lord was putting me to a test when he put my name in the wait-listed students.



That happened for a reason. God didn't let me win (once) third in MTAP when I was in grade six. He wouldn't let my teachers give me the Best in Math award when I was Grades 3,5 and 6. And He wouldn't let my Grade 4 classmate Jonathan Sy transfer to another school the next year after getting the Best in Math when we were in fourth grade. God never runs out of a plausible explanation why things happen the way they do.



I guess I have somehow established the fact that I have (a bit of) inclination to numbers. And perhaps this reason is enough for me to have the confidence teaching Math to fifth graders.



Warning: Digression Ahead



Today is October 10, 2010. 10.10.10. Today, I am no longer a believer of numerology. Jesus Christ has erased all those fancy, mundane beliefs. I am a God's grace dependent now. Yet God made sure that I'll remember this "seemingly cryptic" date when the news from Kuting reached me.



He also let me realized that it's possible to be a word-lover and number-lover at the same time.



P.S. Thank you God for giving me my first computer.

I Feel Good

I so miss my weekly dose of senti moments here in blogspot. Work has been eating up most of my time. But unlike last year, which was my prima salvo of teaching, work no longer embitters my hard-days night.



At times, we couldn't explain why certain things are happenings to us--especially the ugly ones. We are tempted to ask God to free us from such things. But when the time comes that we are through with that experience, we soon realize the significance of that event in our growth.



Now, I am executing my tasks as a teacher religiously. I have come in full terms with myself that I am a teacher. That lessons plan are to be done before the actual teaching of the lesson. That keeping a friendly and orderly classroom is possible. That raising your bars high is a blessing in disguise. That pupils look up to you, so you must be a good model to them. That I have to surround myself with individuals who would create a positive impact on my life. That I am created to be of service to others. That with God, burning out is impossible.

Ang Sarap Maging Guro

Hunyo na (at hindi nalipat ng Setyembre), pasukan na naman. Dati-rati, kwaderno, mga panulat ang inihahanda ko.



Nami-miss ko ang pagtatahi ng mga de-spring na notbuk gamit ang karayom na pang-cross-stitch; ang pagdidisenyo ng unang pahina ng notbuk--pangalan ng asignatura, pangalan ko at guro ko; pagko-cover ng mga notbuk na kailan ko lang naperfect; pagtatasa ng lapis bago ihiga sa pencil case at pangungulit sa nanay ko na bilihan ako ng bagong bag at uniform.



Pero, ngayon, kahit ako na 'yong titser na mag-i-inspect kung kumpleto ang gamit ng mga bata, lalong sumidhi ang kasabikan ko na pumasok sa paaralan. Tulad ng unang taon ko bilang guro, na-e-excite pa rin ako na bumalik sa paaralan at makita ang mukha ng mga dati at bagong estudyante.



At bilang isang guro, pinaghahandaan ko rin ang bagong taong-pampaaralan gaya ng



- pag-e-evaluate ng mga strengths at weaknesses ko

- paghanap ng solusyon upang ma-improve ang mga dapat i-improve

- syempre ang paborito kong classroom structuring, kung saan ay nagbigay ako ng maikling presentasyon noong training namin. Ididikit na lang ang mga displays na ginawa ko.

- paglilista ng mga istratehiya na pwede kong magamit sa iba't ibang asignatura na ituturo ko

- paghahanap ng mga websites sa internet na pwedeng makatulong sa aking propesyon

- pagbili at pagbabasa ng mga librong pang-titser





Ang sarap maging guro. Ang dami kong natututunan.

S-T-A-Y

S-till

T-eaching (for another)

A-cademic

Y-ear

I had submitted my resignation letter (which I wrote in a rush) and  'twas accepted.

After three weeks of goodbye-school-goodbye-students mode, tables turned.

I gained back the serenity. The chance of doing things better than the first time you did them.

The security of having some coins in my pocket. The passion which was put off before, now I am tendering.

Noisy, Standing at Behaved

Noong estudyante ka pa, hindi maunawaan kung bakit sa kaunting kibot lang ng mga kaklase mo, parang isang umaatungal na toro na ang titser ninyo. Sa araw-araw na pagpasok mo, walang palya si mam o sir sa kakasabi ng--



a. Tumahimik!

b. Quiet class.

c. Sige pag nag-ingay pa kayo, minus five kayong lahat!

d. Puwede bang bigyan ninyo ko ng kapayapaan?

e. Pun***a.  Sige daldal pa!



     Nakabisado mo na nga ang mga litanya niya. Alam mo ba rin kung kailan siya high-blood o kung kailan naman siya may buwanang daloy. At alam mo rin kung kailan magbabagsakan ang mala-frisbee sa angas na mga plastik na plato at kung ano-ano pang unidentified flying objects mula sa likod ng klase ninyo. Kasalanan ninyo na nakihati kayo sa faculty room.



     Hindi ka naman talaga galit sa kanila, naiirita ka lang sa tuwing magagalit sila at magbubunganga na para kayong mga ipis at daga na nahuling nagnanakaw ng pagkain mula sa imbakan. Naiinis ka noong ipamukha nila sa iyo na isang krimeng maituturing ang pag-iingay.



   Nasa ikalawang baitang ka nang koronahan ang dalawa mong kamag-aral bilang Hari at Reyna ng Kaingayan. Kumpleto sa trono ang mga maharlika mong kamag-aral. Unang taon mo naman sa elementarya nang matikman mo ang manipis na ruler ni maam. Ingay ng iilan, damay ang sambahayan. Hayan tuloy, pinapila ang lahat para tumanggap ng isang lapat ng plastik na panukat. Nangati tuloy ang palad mo, na para bang ibig pang mahagupit.



     Kaya mula nang nasa ikatlong baitang ka, iniwasan mo na ang dumaldal habang may mga guro. Kinailangan mong galingan ang pagtiktik sa paparating na yapak ng mga gurong may dambuhalang tainga, na kahit mahinang kaluskos yata ay naririnig. Natuto kang mag-ipon ng mga kuwento, na kahit gustong-gusto mo nang ipamalita ay hinihintay mo talaga ang uwian  o lunch break kung saan nagsasama-sama ang mga guro mo sa ibang silid.



     Dati kang gano'n. Palihim na prinsipe, kung hindi man hari, ng kadaldalan. Heto ka ngayon, isang guro na din. Kaunting bulungan, sinasalubong mo ng saway. Kaunting hiyawan, pinapantayan mo ng bulyaw. Sandaling hagikgikan, matalim na titig ang katumbas.



     Katahimikan.

     Kapayapaan.

  

     Kalaban ng ingay.



     Katumbas ng init ng ulo, pagkayamot, at simangot. Dagdag kalbaryo sa walang katapusang paggawa ng banghay-aralin, visual aids, pagtse-tsek ng attendance, pagwawasto ng mga pagsusulit, pagmamarka ng mga proyekto, pag-re-research tungkol sa susunod na aralin. Pagharap sa mga reklamo ng mga magulang. Pagdalo sa mga faculty meeting at biglaang pagpupulong sa kung saan-saan.



     Wala ka nang text life. Hindi mo na iniisip ang love life. Isang ideyang abstrak na ang gimik para sa iyo. Masuwerte ka kung mapanood mo ang mga drama sa gabi. Minsan nga, nakakalimutan mo nang magsepilyo bago matulog o magbihis sa damit-pantulog mo. Kadalasan, ayaw kang patulugin ng mga alalahaning pampaaralan. Pero, kinaumagahan, gigising ka pa rin nang maaga.



     Unti-unti mong nauunawaan kung bakit may UFO mula sa likuran ng klase ninyo.Napapa " Ahhh...kaya pala" ka sa tuwing maalala mo ang mga multiple-choice na litanya nina mam at sir para lang mapatahimik kayo.



     Pero bilang isang bago at maka-bagong guro, niluwangan mo na ang sinturon ng kaingayan sa klase. Naging bata ka rin, e. Alam mo kung gaano kahirap pigilan ng ingay. Para namimintog na pantog ang isip at bibig mo; sabik maibahagi ang mga nangyari noong Sabado at Linggo, o kaya naman ang napanood mo sa siyamnapung channel ng telebisyon ninyo.



     Pero kahit na guro ka na, madaldal ka pa rin. Mas madaldal ka pa nga yata sa mga estudyante mo. Kaya tuwing recess o lunch break, nakikipagdaldalan ka sa kanila. Mas lalo kayong nagkakakilanlan, mas lalo kayong napapalapit sa isa't isa.



     Ang maganda doon, walang nagsasalita ng noisy o standing.